Taking inspiration

This week I'm going to talk about something different but first radio, a slower week where I've been to a meeting and helped clear out the d:one studios. It's never looked so clean and tidy.

Last week I read Beccy Huxtable's blog and was moved by what I read. I've been a fan of Beccy for a while from listening to Scott Mills on BBC Radio 1; finding her funny, down to earth and as I want to work in radio she's also someone I aspire to be like. Last year I was saddened by Beccy leaving the Scott Mills show, knowing it was for health reasons but not understanding. When I read her blog I gained a better understanding of why she left, plus she moved me because I felt I could become a successful radio producer whilst having health problems (plus she still has a great sense of humour).

The reason I came to writing this post is from reading the article Sarah Millican wrote about her time at the BAFTAs. To be honest I saw her tweet about it a few days ago and added it to my to do list, then someone put a link on Facebook and something made me read it, I'm so glad I did. Sarah talks about how she was happy with what she was wearing at the BAFTAs till people on twitter said awful things. 

Well I've had experiences like this too. Exhausted from the end of uni I pulled myself together for an awards event, and I looked pretty good to say I felt a mess inside. I had a genuinely nice time till someone made a comment about me not smiling in photos, well it may not be a big cheesey grin but that's how I smile. I walked away and enjoyed the rest of my night. There's been other occasions like this though, like when someone asked if I was pregnant on holiday when actually I was having a bad time with my stomach condition or when IBS was brought up at uni and someone said it was a condition old people have. The times when it hurts most are when it comes from someone close, like a friend saying I'm not pretty or a family member pointing out how awful my face looks or my stomach.

This week I started going to spin classes, and when I mentioned this to a friend he asked was I only doing this because of what other people thought? I tried to convince him and myself that it was to improve my health and confidence, but it was partly due to people perceptions of me. I hate that I feel judged on how I look and empathise with Sarah Millican, who btw I think looked lovely at the BAFTAs and she looked happy so who cares.

I suffer from acne, chronic migraines and IBS. I don't want sympathy and I feel better about myself than I have for ages. I'm working hard to get a career in radio and how I look should not effect this, my experience and knowledge are more important.